Each day is painful...but I'm pushing on

So I failed. Why does it have to be so hard? I feel like I'm drowning in my own fat. Hopefully I don't slip up again today.


Something to keep me going:







Song Today: Over and Over by Three Days Grace
I feel it everyday it's all the same
It brings me down but I'm the one to blame
I've tried everything to get away
So here I go again
Chasing you down again
Why do I do this?
Over and over, over and over
I fall for you
Over and over, over and over
I try not to
It feels like everyday stays the same
It's dragging me down and I can't pull away
So here I go again
Chasing you down again
Why do I do this?
Over and over, over and over
I fall for you
Over and over, over and over
I try not to
Over and over, over and over
You make me fall for you
Over and over, over and over
You don't even try
So many thoughts that I can't get out of my head
I try to live without you, every time I do I feel dead
I know what's best for me
But I want you instead
I'll keep on wasting all my time
Over and over, over and over
I fall for you
Over and over, over and over
I try not to
Over and over, over and over
You make me fall for you
Over and over, over and over
You don't even try to

Great all day until....

I got to line dancing tonight. I decided to break down and get a grilled chicken sandwich....with the chips. I know there were worse things I could have ordered, but I still feel like a failure. Plus note, I did do eight laps around the mall as well as my dancing so I shouldn't be up too many calories....hopefully.

here is some thinspo for all those struggling today.
stay strong lovelies.

White Balloons by Sick Puppies

I’m holding on to white balloons

Up against the sky of doom

Tell me you see them

‘Cause what’s inside of me is invisible to most

Even in clear view

I’m sending out a signal

To the possibility of you

‘Cause right at this moment

I know you’re connected to a part of me

That I don’t even know myself

The changes in me

Are likely to be like the weather

Stormy and clear

Strength into fear bound together

But I’ll break my silence

If I believe that you and me

Could ever be more than just

What’s been behind us

I tried and left they came and went

I got rejected out again

But no one believes me

I’ve worn a hundred faces

Of the characters and placements

And now nobody sees me

The changes in me

Are likely to be like the weather

Cloudy at best

Angels lift me

Are you with me?

I’m holding on to you like

I’m holding on to white balloons

Carry me away

I hope that you don’t break

‘Cause what’s inside of me is invisible to most

Even in clear view

I need strength.

This new blog is to keep me from falling. I want to lose this prison of fat I'm living in. While I have thinspo saved to my computer, I have found that posting them for others to see, keeps me motivated more.

I like to link my love for music to my passion on becoming thin.

This blog is open to those who respect that.

Song right now: Alpha Dog by Fall Out Boy
Clap until your hands hurt

Standing ovations or boos

Wa-wa-watch us until we blur

Walk off into the sunset

Tell rock and roll Im alone again

I wanna put the Midwest home again

You time has passed, they say never means never

So the fresh stares wont last but never means forever

Never means forever

Alpha dog and oh-oh-omegalomaniac-aaaaac

Alpha dog and oh-omega-megalo

Welcome to the new de'ja` vu

I can almost see the wizard through the curtains

Alpha dog and oh-oh-omegalomaniac-aaaaac

We must have the best coach

Tell the best jokes

We must make it hard to look so easy

Doing something so hard

You must see my way

They scream when they look at me

Im a, Im a star

Im a, Im a star

Im a star

Oh, Im a star

Alpha dog and oh-oh-omegalomaniac-aaaaac

Alpha dog and oh-omega-megalo

Welcome to the new de'ja` vu

I can almost see the wizard through the curtains

Alpha dog and oh-oh-omegalomaniac-aaaaac

Youre not the first

Or the last

But youre possible the prettiest, whoa

Hes a fighter

Past his prime

Hes in the gutter waving his hand

Im just fine

Youre not the first

Or the last

But youre possible the prettiest, whoa

Hes a fighter

Past his prime

Hes in the gutter waving his hand

Alpha dog and oh-oh-omegalomaniac-aaaaac

Alpha dog and oh-omega-megalo

Welcome to the new deja vu

I can almost see the wizard through the curtains

Alpha dog and oh-oh-omegalomaniac-aaaaac