Hooray...I guess...

Today wasn't horrible. The last few days haven't been bad. I did slip up toward the end. It was my uncle's birthday at the bar we were at and someone brought cheesecake, and literally, i was forced to eat it. Don't people get that I'm huge enough without having to shove more calories down my throat? I wish that they could all understand my pain and know the fury I feel when I consume food.

On a note that does have me a bit happier. I dented my bank account today by purchasing a year gym membership. It is totally worth it. I tried to find one of those sit up bar things, but alas, none to be had. So, this was a new idea. I decided that me being thin was worth the price. I want to be perfect so bad. Swimming burns great calories, so I'm thrilled that the place I joined has a lap pool. I used to swim. I was getting good until my leg was screwed up in high school, causing me to not make the varsity team senior year. However, as the years have progressed, I've found the the more work I do, the less pain I feel in my ankle. Therefore, I've decided I'm ready to return to the sport I love...recreationally at first. They have a group at the club that likes to have more structured swim work outs, but baby steps...I'll do this alone to start with. Then, maybe, just maybe I could find myself comfortable in sharing a lane once again.

Wish me luck. I could use some!

Song right now: What A Shame by Shinedown
Two packs of cigarettes a day
The strongest whiskey
Kentucky can make
That's a recipe to put a vagabond
On his hands and knees
I watched it all up close,
I knew him more than most
I saw a side of him he never showed
Full of sympathy for a world that
Wouldn't let him be

That's the man he was,
Have you heard enough?

What a shame, what a shame,
To judge a life that you can't change
The choir sings, the church bells ring
So, won't you give this man his wings?
What a shame to have to beg you to
See we're not all the same
What a shame

There's a hard life for every silver spoon
There's a touch of grey for every shade
Of blue
That's the way that I see life
If there was nothing wrong,
Then there'd be nothing right
And for this working man they say could
Barely stand
There's gotta be a better place to land
Some kind of remedy for a world that
Wouldn't let him be

That's the man he was,
Have you heard enough?

What a shame, what a shame,
To judge a life that you can't change
The choir sings, the church bells ring
So, won't you give this man his wings?
What a shame to have to beg you to
See we're not all the same
What a shame

God forgive the hands that laid you down
They never knew how, but your broken
Heart can break the sound
And change the season
Now the leaves are falling faster,
Happily ever after
You gave me hope through your endeavors
And now you will live forever

What a shame, what a shame,
To judge a life that you can't change
The choir sings, the church bells ring
So, won't you give this man his wings?
What a shame to have to beg you to
See we're not all the same
What a shame, what a shame
'Cause we're not all the same
What a shame, what a shame
'Cause we're not all the same